Sonoma - Don Born Here - Don & Marylou - Our Town
-
I was born in Sonoma, but I didn’t plan on returning. After moving several times, I was living in Healdsburg when I met Marylou, who was living in Petaluma. From the beginning, we knew we wanted to build a life together—and instead of choosing one of our towns, we chose Sonoma as “our town.” What I didn’t realize at the time was that Sonoma already held a special place in Marylou’s heart.
Note: This is a story I wrote to test the Born in Sonoma part of the Sonoma Stories system. I was not Born in Sonoma.
-
Note: This is a story I wrote to test the Born in Sonoma part of the Sonoma Stories system. I was not Born in Sonoma.
It’s funny how quickly something can feel right. I had moved several times and was now living in Healdsburg when I met Marylou, who was living in Petaluma. From the very first date, I fell in love with her. There was something about her warmth, her insight, her sense of humor, and her quiet confidence that drew me in completely. On our second date, when I pulled up to her house, I saw a “For Sale” sign in the yard. She was selling her home in Petaluma.
I remember saying, half-joking but half-serious, “It’s early in our relationship to say this, but if things go as I think they will, I’d like us to end up in our house someday.”
She smiled, understanding exactly what I meant. That conversation marked the beginning of something important—not just the idea of living together, but the idea of building a shared life.
We agreed that if this relationship continued the way we hoped, we would start by finding “our town.” I suggested Sonoma. It was a great town, and I had been born there. What I didn’t realize was that Sonoma had a special place in Marylou’s heart. She even had a postcard of Sonoma on her vision board. Her daughter had gotten married there ten years earlier.
So we started exploring, and both agreed on Sonoma. It had that small-town charm, a strong sense of community, and a slower rhythm of life that felt right for where we were in our lives.
Marylou was going to buy the house first. We agreed that if our relationship continued as we expected, I would reimburse her for half the down payment and start paying half of all the expenses. I also told her something I felt strongly about: I would make sure the house she bought was one she could afford on her own if, for any reason, our relationship didn’t work out. I didn’t want her to ever feel financially vulnerable.
From there, we dove into the search. Marylou is an experienced homebuyer with great taste—she has a sharp eye for light, layout, and detail—and she took the lead on the aesthetic side. I handled the financial side, creating a simple framework to guide us. I even drew concentric circles radiating out from Sonoma Plaza—the closer to the Plaza, the higher the price; the farther out, the more affordable. It gave us a rational way to weigh each home we saw against its cost.
We looked at many houses. During that time, I took my kids on a trip through Eastern Europe, but even from there, I stayed involved, sending financial evaluations from my laptop. While I was gone, Marylou saw a house she loved. By chance, I was returning a few days later, and she and the realtor took me to see it.
The moment I walked in, I felt it too—this was the house. The seller was taking bids that Monday, with the highest offer getting it. Our broker told us, “Make your best offer.” We sat down together and carefully crafted a bid that stretched to the very edge of what Marylou could afford.
It worked. We got the house.
About a year later, at a neighborhood gathering, one of our new neighbors said, “I wanted your house. I bid $30,000 less because I thought I could get it for that. I’ve regretted it ever since.”
Marylou and I just smiled at each other. We knew we’d made the right decision.
Two years later, we got married, and I made good on my commitment—I paid her back for half the down payment, and from that day forward, everything about the house was truly shared.
And that’s how we ended up with our house, in our town—Sonoma.
-
Relationships Drive Place Decisions
Where we live is often shaped less by analysis and more by who we build our life with.
Independent Paths Converging
I suggested Sonoma because I was born there. What I didn’t realize was that it already held meaning for Marylou—so the choice was more shared than it first appeared.
Practical Structure Supports Big Decisions
Clear financial agreements and defined roles allowed us to make an emotional decision with confidence.
What Feels Secondary Can Become Primary
Sonoma went from being a place I was born to a place I chose—not because it “won” a comparison, but because my life changed.
