I Visited Sonoma - Don Lundgren
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My first real experience with Sonoma came when I was living in Healdsburg and dating someone who lived there. I found myself constantly comparing the two towns—plaza, restaurants, tasting rooms, even early hints of pickleball. At the time, Healdsburg felt more polished and interesting to me.
What’s interesting is that just a few years later, I ended up living in Sonoma—not because of those comparisons, but because Marylou and I chose it together as “our town.”
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I had very little experience with Sonoma. I may have visited once, but that was about it. Then I met a woman who lived in Sonoma, and at the time I was living in Healdsburg. That changed things. I started coming down to Sonoma to see her, and naturally I began comparing the two towns.
The first thing I noticed was the plaza. Healdsburg’s plaza is small and intimate. Sonoma’s is much larger—large enough to include City Hall right in the middle. It felt more expansive, less contained.
Then I started noticing the restaurants. In Healdsburg, restaurants had begun to spread out onto the streets, and they were very well done. Sonoma had some of that, but not nearly as much, and it didn’t feel as polished. At the same time, I noticed that Sonoma’s better restaurants were generally less expensive than Healdsburg’s. Having lived in Healdsburg for three years, I knew the restaurant scene well—and I also knew you had to be selective if you didn’t want to spend a lot of money.
Another difference was tasting rooms. Sonoma seemed to have many more of them. Healdsburg had a town code limiting how many could be on a block, so they were more controlled. In Sonoma, it felt like there were tasting rooms everywhere, as if there wasn’t the same restriction.
We didn’t spend time out in the countryside, but I assumed Sonoma Valley had wineries similar to those around Healdsburg. We did go to a movie at what I remember as the Big Five location, which felt very similar to Healdsburg—smaller theaters, a familiar kind of setup.
I also thought about biking. Healdsburg is fantastic for biking, with three valleys and great paved roads. I didn’t really explore biking in Sonoma, but I did notice that some of the roads were not in very good condition, and there seemed to be more traffic on the side roads.
Then there was something new to me—pickleball. I didn’t really know what it was at the time, but I had recently stopped playing tennis and was interested in finding another racquet sport. Sonoma had pickleball; Healdsburg, as far as I knew, did not.
She also told me about Impact 100, which I found fascinating—a group of women who each contribute $1,000, pool the money, and then make meaningful investments in local nonprofits.
I also saw the Sonoma Community Center, a very impressive organization and building (the old high school). Healdsburg Community Center was a small office off the Plaza.
That gave me a glimpse into another dimension of Sonoma—the community involvement.
Overall, I thought Sonoma was a wonderful town. But at that moment in time, I felt Healdsburg was more interesting and more developed in certain ways.
What’s interesting is that about three years later, I ended up living in Sonoma.
The main reason that happened is I fell in love with Marylou. She was living Petaluma and I was still living in Healdsburg. We decided we didn’t want to live in either of our towns and selected Sonoma as “Our Town”.
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First Impressions Are Comparative, Not Absolute
My early view of Sonoma was shaped by comparison to Healdsburg, where I was already comfortable and knowledgeable.
Polish vs. Accessibility
Healdsburg felt more refined and developed, especially in restaurants. Sonoma felt less polished but more affordable and accessible.
Structure vs. Freedom
Rules like tasting room limits created a more controlled environment in Healdsburg, while Sonoma felt less regulated and more open.
Early Signals vs. Deeper Experience
Things like pickleball and community organizations hinted at aspects of Sonoma that I didn’t fully appreciate at the time—but later became meaningful.
Community Dimension Matters
Impact 100 and the Sonoma Community Center revealed a layer of civic engagement that went beyond surface impressions.
Decisions Are Not Always Rational Comparisons
Even though I initially preferred Healdsburg, I didn’t choose where to live based on those comparisons.
Life Choices Drive Place Choices
I ended up in Sonoma because of Marylou. We chose it together as “our town,” which mattered more than any earlier evaluation.
What Feels Secondary Can Become Primary
Sonoma went from being the “less interesting” town in my comparison to becoming home—not because it “won” the comparison, but because my life changed. The decision wasn’t really about which town was better.
